Where has the empathy gone?
I believe if the pandemic has shown us, as a civilization anything it is that empathy is often taken for granted. It takes work and conditioning made easier with socialization.
As someone who is an essential worker, I have noticed a gradual shift in attitudes among those who have the luxury of working from home.
Yes, I said luxury.
That is not to say I do not sympathize with the mundane and boredom working from home brings. I acknowledge the opportunity to work from home keeps employees safe, they have no risk of contracting Covid-19 or any of the countless variants at their place of work. I stress that people working from home may be bored but they are safe which is the entire point, right?
Those braving the elements for the past year to come into work have put themselves at risk at every facet of their day. Public transit, stairwells, elevators, washrooms, kitchenette are all risky as are door knobs, keyboards, telephones, and stationery. Imagine, a random routine task like grabbing a pen to jot down a note. An act we think nothing of until we catch ourselves touching our face moments afterward. Cue the sinking feeling that you have just contracted a deadly virus that will not be detected for days and could kill someone you care about all because you were thoughtless in grabbing a pen at a shared work space. This is a constant stress that has the power to eat away at any stomach lining. I think I would rather be bored.
We essential workers put our health and safety in the presumably washed hands of our colleagues every day. It is infuriating when a fellow colleague boasts about jamming with their band over the weekend, having a dinner party the night before, or crossing into another province on their days off, when the mass majority of essential workers are abiding by the stay-at-home order. We do not do this because we have nothing to do or because there is no one we care to visit. We sacrifice by staying at home because it is our civic duty to keep each other safe. We take responsibility for the health and safety of our colleagues, friends, family, and community as we all should.
Those at home are trapped within four walls. These once empathetic beings, have now spent much of their time, over the past year, feeling sorry for themselves and dwelling over their own situation. I understand it is frustrating that you cannot go to the gym but do not tell me that I am lucky to go to work. Boredom is not nearly as unhealthy as stress. Besides, only the boring are bored. If you don’t know what to do with your time, ask someone who has no free time, I bet they have a really creative list. Better yet, why not help. If you are so bored, why not volunteer to shop for your neighbor who is in isolation or shovel the walkway of a single mom who works at the hospital. Trust me, there is plenty to do if you are motivated.
The pandemic has knocked our society off balance, not that it was balanced to begin with. While some are bored out of their minds, others are scrambling to keep up. Those too busy to see straight are also those who sympathize with the other half. I do not feel that sympathy is reciprocated.
Where has the empathy gone? It too is working from home.
By being shut in for so long, many have stopped looking outward. They don’t see the dying, the suffering, the unemployed, or the stresses of the essential workers. I understand their challenges, I just don’t want to hear it anymore.
Every day, I am grateful for my family’s continuous good health and my paycheck. Although, it feels as though both are teetering on the precipice this pandemic has created. Mostly, I am grateful that I am not on the frontline. I do not have to contain with the sick or work with the assumed sick public. I have enough worry with a selected few colleagues who carelessly spread their fear mongering conspiracy theories while not able to keep their masks over their noses.
Months ago, the images on the television and social media became too much. Raw and sore faces from constant mask wearing, stories of loss and mourning for a loved one gone too soon, the nonstop display of rising numbers, and restriction announcements began to chip away at our ability to carry on. Many decided to turn it all off, but in doing so they learned to only look inward. As a way of coping, they ignored all that was still happening beyond their front doors.
We are not immune over time. The world did not heal while your back was turned.
By shutting it all out and binge-watching mindless television, many have shifted their narrowing empathy inward. The empathy has grown thin and weak over time. It is selective too, as we tend to surround ourselves with alike thinking company. Those working from home limit their zoom access to those who also work from home. This, only feeds into the now remote pity parties. The empathy that remains is reserved for the self. This is self-serving empathy.
So, if the only empathy you possess is for yourself, I suggest you get your head out of your ass. The vaccines may be on the horizon, but we are still very much in the thick of this storm.