Emily Wright: Rant
Public vs Private life – is there a difference? And how will this affect the mental health of our youth?
We are so polarized.
There is a story in the news about an Uber driver who posted the interactions of four young male passengers on YouTube. They were team mates who were openly discussing the inner workings of their team. Comments were made that were not meant for the rest of the team or the coach. This is news worthy because it questions whether or not a taxi or Uber car is a private domain, one that remains private just as a hotel room. This is not the controversial issue that I wish to broach. But it does bring the boundaries between public and private into play.
On any given day, I am personally video recorded up to 15 times. There are video cameras everywhere and where there aren’t, there are people with their smart phones at the ready. We are raising a generation of young people who are accustom to being recorded at any time. When do we get to be ourselves or is the ‘self,’ as we know it, undergoing a disembodiment?
Not a day goes by that I do not consider the wild days of my youth. Back then, my cell phone did not have the capability to snap photos or record videos. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
I have forgotten much of my party days and that which I remember I do not wish to have documented for the world to see. Smart phones were not equipped with cameras until after the birth of my first born, long after my party girl days.
I feel honored to be of the generations who had the opportunity to be wild and reckless without having to worry about such moments being plastered on social media the next morning like a hideous scar obtained while hungover. Partying in my early twenties often consisted of drinking too much and winding up dancing on the speaker or high-rise platform provided specifically for that purpose. The point was to make a spectacle of myself. Nerve and a shot of courage was served with every cocktail. After the third or fourth I had eared the reassurance of deniability too. Sober, I would never be dancing center stage. In fact, sober I would secretly judge and pity the drunken chick, knowing the morning will bring regret and embarrassment if remembered.
My colleagues today would never believe the depths my inhibitions would sink to back then. And for THAT I am forever grateful, for there were no means for my friends or nearby party people to document.
A close friend works at a post-secondary school establishment and the stories of past weekend endeavors the students share are laughable in comparison to the trouble we used to get up to. A decade ago, I used to think yikes, we were chronic, promiscuous party girls. Now I think, what happened to being young and stupid? Isn’t that what youth is for?
My concern is that society is conditioning our young people to accept that there are no more private moments or regrettable times revisited only in our memory. Today every smile, fake smile, misstep and momentary lapse of judgement will wind up on your social media or worse, someone else’s social media without our knowledge or consent.
What will become of us?
Will we eventually not care? Will we just accept that it is just a matter of time that we will all end up naked on the internet? If this is our future, we can only hope that eventually everyone will be considered flawed, it will lose its novelty and eventually nothing will surprise or shock us? Or will we all just embrace our public identity and assume our less authentic self all of the time? If this is the future waiting for us, then we will all end up with greater mental health issues than we already do?
Kids will be kids implies that there is a phase of silly decisions that were not meant to brand us like a tattoo.
It is inherently human to lash out. We need an outlet to vent, to complain about things that bother us. Healthy adults seek safe places to do this; over drinks with colleagues, we say unsavory things about our boss and criticize other colleagues. We bash our spouses over the phone with our best friends. We groan about our parents with siblings. And our partners see our many hats, more importantly they see us completely naked in all sense of the word. We need this and I worry that our obsession with YouTube, Facebook, and Tik-Tok seriously threaten our authentic selves.
Consider our politicians. Decades ago, it was scandalous for a leader to be divorced, to step out on their marriage, or get caught with a sex worker. Today, we accept that everyone has their secrets and are entitled to a private life free of judgement. Meaning, everything you do is up for public opinion. Will our standards eventually stoop so low that we will cease to care?
I don’t know, stepping out on your wife to get with a hooker kind of says a lot about you as a person that might influence your values and policy. Either way, I preferred scandals served cold. I would rather read them or hear about them afterwards as a true testament that one can be a great leader and a womanizing, elitist prick all in one. Today we just accept bad behavior because there is no escaping public scrutiny as no moment will ever be private and no secret will ever stay buried again.
I want my son to end up streaking down the block on a dare at his first team party in college. I want my daughter to enter a limbo contest while spring breaking in Florida. I do not wish to witness or have access to any of this. But I don’t want my kids to have embarrassing videos that will plague them for ever. They deserve the same rite of passage as I did, where I could be reckless and wild without it being documented. When such events are whispered and rumored about there is room for deniability. Video footage does not allow us any room to get beyond a reasonable doubt.
How do we preserve the privacy of being reckless and wild for our youth? It’s an important part of growing up that was not meant to be posted as public.