The Only Road: Emily Wright Rant
Did you see the line?
That line that carves through our lives. In the wake of its fracture, chunks fall away, break and crumble.
Once the dust settles, there is nothing but desolate upturned earth, barren and harsh. What rises from this void is unforeseen possibility. A life never imagined, a future rerouted.
Lines with great distinction are clearer upon hindsight.
Yet, some remain unseen until crossed.
There are those lines one expects and anticipates within the texture of their life: falling in love, experiencing loss, becoming a parent, making a choice. Then, there are others that rock our entire civilization. Not only are they unexpected, they have the power to be definitive, changing the face of the world forever: recession, war, and disease.
Life is a concession of bad decisions and the constant attempt to recover.
The right choices often go unpraised. That is until they are reflected upon. A needed point of reference in contrast to another regrettable mistake.
On the day I met the man I would marry and bear his child, I did not appreciate the lines I was approaching and thought nothing of crossing. Now as I look at my son and try not to think of my ex-husband, I recognize how significant my actions and decisions were. I crossed those lines blissfully unaware in a haze of loud music and blurred colours.
On that day, when I pushed a shopping cart through a near-empty grocery store in cottage country Ontario, I was in a daze as I watched the recent footage of a plane crashing into the World Trade Center. The numbness of that day was an indication that we stood at the precipice of a defining line, one that would change life forever. Looking back on that day, one I had no control over, I was more devastated by my impotence. How could something with such immense significance to so many lives be beyond expectation or control? I crossed that line muted and in slow motion in a wash of grey.
During those days, when the numbers were creeping up on the other side of the world, I clutched at the unstable fact that it had not reached our borders. Until it did. Then I did the only thing I could do. I stocked up on work books for my children, filled the pantry, stocked up on dog food, batteries, and yes toilet paper. Days later, news trickled in. This information tilted the world, putting us on a precarious slope, leaving us to slip into uncharted territory.
First, professional sporting events were cancelled. Then, school closures were announced, planes were grounded, and we were all in a stay at home order. It was real. The Covid-19 pandemic was upon us and a modern day Marshal Law was beginning to take shape. I crossed that very wide line, attempting to control what I could, in a blaze of flashing lights and the sound of constant voices.
With much consideration to the new normal, I was very well aware this line would determine forever in time.
A definitive line between before and after had been made.
A severe gouge, cutting deep through our lives and scarring our civilization. There was a true beauty in its historical significance and the shock of bearing witness. It was a turning point. Real priorities become crystal clear, life plans rerouted, and the noise faded away. The clutter of my life dissolved and all that mattered was keeping people safe. Because…
Tomorrow is imminent. Our existence is not.
Twenty years post Covid-19 is certain. The lines we must cross to get there remain unseen.