…an old tired custom…
For everyone who has ever been brave enough to organize an event, whether it be as intimate as tea or involved as a wedding, I appreciate your tenacity to follow through despite the slow demise of social etiquette upon us today. Will the RSVP be phased out because it is simply ignored by far too many? Will it be an old tired custom that will be abandoned like the curtsy or holding the door for another? Not if I have anything to say about it.
Let’s for a moment believe that there is a confusion with the translation. One of the first acronyms of our time, RSVP stands for répondez, s’il vous plaît, Yes, it is French.
The exact translation is ‘respond if you please.’
Perhaps, this is the cornerstone of the debate. “If you please,” is subject to explanation. This does not mean if you want to. Quite simply, if you please is a polite way of saying ‘please’ in French. Sometimes the most accurate translation is not the correct one. For instance, in German, hunger is a state to which one belongs to, so, they say ‘I have hunger’ but, the true English translation is ‘I am hungry.’ This rule applies with RSVP. Respond if you please simply means, ‘please answer.’
Or, like many hosts will secretly be chanting as the impending date encroaches,
….”Reply, damn it!”
This does not mean reply only if you are attending or only if you are not attending. This means reply, respond, answer in person, by phone, by text or by email no matter what. Announce your intentions even if it is the ever non-committal, maybe! It is the very least you can do when someone has gone to the trouble of planning an event and has been so kind to consider you as a worthy guest.
… Our ethics are being compromised with every fragmented and micro human connection we make.
By responding, the host can accurately accommodate the number of guests expected. That way they can avoid waste or worse, not having enough food or amenities for everyone. Oh, just so you know, everyone who has ever hosted anything…ever, just shuttered unanimously at the thought of running out of provisions.
Unfortunately, I believe that this growing trend of not ‘RSVP’ing is the root of a far bigger problem.
Our social accountability is depleting rapidly in this high-speed world we have created.
With the click of the mouse, we are able to scan images and messages with no real appreciation for the effort, time or individual responsible for the content. Our ethics are being compromised with every fragmented and micro human connection we make.
Let me give you an example. How is it appropriate to click ‘like’ on a Facebook status that illustrates someone struggling or announces the passing of a loved one? If you don’t have time to write a few genuine words of support or condolences, please resist the urge to click ‘like.’ This is about basic human respect, appreciation, and empathy. There seems to be a shared avoidance to commit or be responsible. With every click of the mouse or swipe of the screen, we are dismissive with expediency. Which brings us back to the RSVP. Please respond. When someone has sent you an invite, especially when it comes through the mail, has a real postmark or is hand delivered, allot them the common, quickly proving to be not-so common, courtesy of answering them.
There seems to be a shared avoidance to commit or be responsible. With every click of the mouse or swipe of the screen, we are dismissive with remarkable expediency.
Which brings us back to the RSVP. Please respond. When someone has sent you an invite, especially when it comes through the mail, has a real postmark or is hand delivered, allot them the common, quickly proving to be not-so common, courtesy of answering them.
Which brings us back to the RSVP. Please respond. When someone has sent you an invite, especially when it comes through the mail, has a real postmark or is hand delivered, allot them the common, quickly proving to be not-so common, courtesy of answering them.
Small human decencies are fading out of existence at a startling rate because we are too busy and so connected to the entire world that we loose sight of our immediate surroundings. The RSVP holds us to a higher standard of accountability. Rise to it because thanks to social media even ‘RSVP’ing is as effortless as clicking a response.